so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
