Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
