Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
