I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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