she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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