so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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