Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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