Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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