I'm really into asian looking animals
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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