Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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