normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
