I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
