So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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