...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
