first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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