I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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