i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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