I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
