My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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