That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
