Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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