I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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