So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
