I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
