I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
