So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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