Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I have demons in me.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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