i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Why are your pants in the freezer?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
