Is it because I queefed?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
