I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
