I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
