are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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