spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
