anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
