Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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