Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
