im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
