On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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