He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize