Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Randomize
