All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
