Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
