at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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