I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
