So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
