yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm at about main and main street
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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