I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
