Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
