Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
