how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
