you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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