Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
