I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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