wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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