I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
