Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
