The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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