im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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