I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
