he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize