I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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