I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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