Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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