Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
