I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
