Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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