I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
