Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i can't believe i had my finger in that
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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