This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
