In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
