so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
