I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
