And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
