They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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