she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
